Would you be in a relationship with somebody rather than yourself?
Stupid question and I will not answer it, I will discuss some aspects though of my own thinking on regards of this matter. Are you in a relationship? Why is it so hard nowadays to have it, keep it, cherish it and so on?
If you have the guts to do it, do it because you are ready, know yourself and find out who you are before doing that. This applies to all kinds of interaction but I am especially talking about those romantically ones.
Why do we see so many couples breaking up, fighting, having arguments leading to both marching their own way? Why do we find it so difficult to understand, to give, to receive? To give space, to understand that we are not owners, we should be lovers… Why is it so strange about us that we tend to replace and not fix, give up and not try, get so disappointed and not face the issue again?
People make mistakes, many and endlessly stupid. There are many species, but what I believe the key to all these questions is to know who you are. Be the person you feel to be, know your limits, accept your flaws, promote your abilities. Know the darkest place inside your mind, what scares you, what breaks you, what makes you happy. What is another important fact, know what you will be willing to give before thinking of asking for things in return.
We all get disappointed, we all get cheated on, we all get lonely, scared, stupid, immature and the list goes to infinity but there are ways. There is always a way as long there are attractions and communication, respect and forgiveness etc. People change, in a better version, worse version or they don’t change at all. The tact is that you need to have courage and accept situations and facts that you cannot change, control and fight for what you think might be for you. You cannot hope for a forever when you are not ready to get there.
Once you are determined and described by frustration, fear of being alone, sexual drive only, depression, stress, think too much, fear too much, protect too much, not listen, not communicate, not and the other not’s, you will fail and at some point and you will get to a nonsense. Clear your baggage before offering yourself to someone else, time alone will do. Time alone, will fix even the tiniest broken part of you. Make sure you are your own person before being someone else’s. Don’t create codependencies and that way you will keep the attraction towards maturity, clearness and power. Maybe you will not understand what all this philosophy is but let me be a little more clear. You want a person to be decided, grounded, and stable not somebody fluctuating between emotions, thoughts and long lost dreams.
Thinking about a small comparison between us and our parents, we have everything taken for granted. Society and the way we live has put an imprint on us and it breaks the control of all we do. Phones appearing with new models every summer, clothes being replaced so often, activities and extracurricular so often interchanged and so many other examples are affecting our ability for stability. Indirectly getting to our subconscious making us think that something better will appear eventually and from there on, it reflects on everything we do. Change, replace, enjoy, it breaks and then recycle. What we don’t think is that we are humans, we are animals and we only deeply down care for the base status and functions and get lost in this 2018 thrill. But as with everything that you do in life there come sacrifices, on yourself on others, anyway.
Not being able to be consistent in what we do, not being able to be driven and dedicated to a source affects us on many plans and of course our designed subject today: relationships. I have come to conclusions and thoughts after reading and living some great experiences that led to the person I am today. The last 7 months would be described as a crossroad that interfered a version of me that of course is not very much changed and the person writing these words. I would get to know answers to much avoided questions, forgive myself when no one else would and finding self. To be so honest in my conceited self and non existing modesty I would be with this self forever.
Let’s just conclude with the fact that you need to stick to what want and have. Don’t fuck it up as if you don’t want to be fucked up with. And if you do, God damn fix your ass shit mistakes. Fight endlessly until you reach your point. You climb, you swim, mountains and seas but make sure you are a clear self before presenting that version of you to somebody else. Remember the answer to Why do you love me? is not because you make me happy. It is -BECAUSE GIVING MY FEELINGS AND RESPECT TO YOU makes me happy.
Bye now! Until next time 🙂